The Man


Why do BigLaw Associates like The Man?  Why drink the koolaid? Why believe The Man when he tells you you have nothing to worry about in this market? The Man doesn’t give a shit about you, why else do you think they give you a 6 figure number to keep track of your billing, when you come and go, what documents you create or check out, etc.? What is this fucking unbased devotion to The Man you monkeys have? Do you even know who The Man is?

No, you don’t.

You think it’s the managing partner of the Firm? that fucker was so good at playing politics that he was elected but that also means he doesn’t have the balls to piss anyone off beause he knows once he does, there will be a coup and he will be toppled faster than we pulled down the statue of Saddam  Hussein in Fardus Square.

Do you think The Man is the partner that you work for and gave you great reviews? Fuck no.

When shit hits the fan, nobody’s going to stick their neck out for you because even the partners, especially in this market, are afraid shitless that they will also get the boot (e.g. Cadwalader’s coup) or will be deequitized. Or these partners have had affairs or some other sort of drama/scandal that they are no longer respected by their peers and just want to fly below the radar.

You see, nobody knows who The Man is.

Nobody knows who makes the calls, which partners will roll over and not speak up when their favorite associate gets put on the chopping block, nobody knows who even puts the associates on the chopping block. It might even be that fucking whore in attorney employment who isn’t even a lawyer but has her nose in everybody’s fucking business.

So, quit loving the Man. You don’t even know who he or she is. But one thing is certain, The  Man will fuck you over no matter how many times whored yourself out to him.

So, get off your knees and get some respect.


8 Responses

  1. listen bitches. I’m tired of people who are loyal to the firm. It’s like gang wars. You never know which asshole is going to sniper your ass. It’s not The Man. It’s the Gang Rat that’s gonna get you. WAKE UP!

  2. Why does the man in the picture look like my pervy uncle Ted?

  3. Because maybe it is your pervy uncle. Being the man is how he gets away with being a perve.

  4. They’re called paragraphs. Please. You can’t be serious.

  5. d.z., what does that even mean?

  6. It means the post’s readability would benefit greatly from the inclusion of a few line breaks.

  7. ah, thanks for the feedback d.z. we hope the new format helps the readability.

    Sometimes we here at Stuff BigLaw Associates Like get so ramped up that we forget to hit the “enter” bar and we can’t have the word processors or the little junior monkeys edit the posts for us like we used to make them do back in the day when there was work to do and documents to draft

  8. Much better, thanks!

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