The Internet

BigLaw Associates love Al Gore. Why? Because he invented the internet, or at least “took the initiative in creating the Internet.” And for that, we, BigLaw Associates do love him dearly.

Why?

For so many reasons, I could no sooner pick a star from the heavens than pick a reason for our great love of the internet. But, what the fuck, I’ll try anyway:

1. We are forced to sit in an office slightly larger than a dog kennel proportionally and it is right there in front of us on that huge flat panel monitor. It opens up a whole world to us and we don’t even have to get our fat asses up to explore it. We can start our search on some random ass question a partner gives us on wikipedia (which has yet to fail me. oh hail wikipedia!). We can send emails to our secretary so we don’t have to actually talk to him/her. We can send emails to our friends so we don’t have to really interact. We can write blogs. We can read blogs. We can comment on blogs (and now, with the Nabatagz you can actually have the smart device that is shaped like a bunny read to you blogs and blog comments).

2. There are naked girls on it.

3. We can  buy so much random ass shit on it. You can buy books, gifts, alcohol, clothes, cars, houses, and incidentally, sign up for internet connection (which takes me to a tangential point why Time Warner is filled with a bunch of assholes. A few months back, they had a promo price for internet but you had to sign up for the internet over the internet which  of course makes no fucking sense except to piss off alot of people and make them want to sharpen a pencil and stick it in their left hamstring).

4. We can buy naked girls on it (from India or China).

5. Oh, and we can gchat. We can gchat about BigLaw firm gossip. We can gchat about blogs about random BigLaw gossip. Oh, we also love gchat.

6. We can gchat with naked girls on it.

7. We can pretend we have a life or pretend we are still connected to the world, even though we’re not because we are stuck at work. It’s what we do when we are waiting for comments. It’s what we do when we have nothing to do. It’s what we do when we have something to do but we’d rather gchat with naked girls.

8. Have your own reasons why you love Al Gore and the internet or even just naked girls? Leave them in the comments section.

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