Blackberries

Just because she has one too doesn\'t make you cool by association.  Unless, of course, you have a sex tape with a rock star.

Just because she has one too doesn't make you cool by association. Unless, of course, you have a sex tape with a rock star.

Yes, we bitch and complain about our blackberries. We call the uncreative names like “crackberries,” (c’mon, was that really that hard to come up with?) and our “electronic chain.”   The truth of the matter is we like to whip it out at a high-end restaurant or in front of a date because it is the symbol of importance–it says: “I want to be important so I whip out my blackberry but I secretly wish it was a pager and I was a doctor actually doing something important.”

 It, only second to a youthful companion at least 10 yrs your junior (preferably blond and white or exotic and tan and with an unidentifiable south american accent), is the ultimate status accessory.
We furiusly type on it to look busy even though we are really just responding to an email to our gmail account and because the truth is we are piddly associates and no deal or trial will ever fall through because we don’t answer an email on our blackberries.

We also pull it out when our parents are asking us why we haven’t settled down yet or ask us whether we should have blown 60K on a car.  Or when  we’re on a bad date and we just want to get our food so we pull it out to shut him/her up. It is both our status symbol and our savior. It’s not a crackberry. Crack is wack and we, like Whitney Houston, make too much money to smoke crack. No, we have blowberr ies, llell-berries, and cokeberries. And we love them.

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2 Responses

  1. I like my blackberry almost as much as I like my twigs and berries.

  2. Oh, honey- the real power now is not having to have one. The real power is having subordinates with blackberries to handle crap while you are in an expensive restaurant trying to get tail.

    Trust me on this one. The power boys (and girls) don’t carry them, or at least never whip them out in restaurants. When I see one, I know that somebody has you on a chain.

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