BM: Cars

That’s right kids, it’s another post in our series of posts called Blowing Money (or BM for short). Hold onto your panties!

Todays post is blowing money on the second most expensive thing in our life and that is on a car (unless of course you buy a mobile home and that would be the first and second thing).

Oh we love cars. What else do cars say besides “I’m rich and you’re not” or “I might have a big dick or I might not and am trying to compensate for it but either way, I’m rich and you’re not” or “yeah, I’m a short bigheaded
bastard but I’m rich and you’re not”. It may be more important than a house because when you’re billing 300 hours a month, when do you have time for people to come over? But when you’re racing down the boulevard in your hot, sexy, little sports car, everyone will see the “I’m important and rich sign” practically pasted on the side of your car (and you don’t even have to talk loudly to show how important you are).

That’s right. There is nothing more important than a nice car. It’s more important than big boobs because you can always stuff your bra. It’s more important than a big dick, because you can always stuff your pants (I guess, if you’re that type of guy). Either way, nothing says I am hot and rich like a car. It’s the one thing you can’t fake. (Unless you drive your mommy’s car and pretend its yours which means you aren’t a true gluttonous BigLaw associate and we all both hate on and laugh at you).

It’s even better when you’re an associate and you drive a more expensive car than your clients paying you six figure salary that now starts at $160K. It’s even better when you seem richer than the
clients that pay your bills. They secretly love it even though they left BigLaw and the big money and act as if you are a spoiled little ape.

Yeah, our inflated six figure salary can’t buy us a 200000 dollar Maybach with L.E.D. panels for the roof that can change from transparent to any scenery we want thanks to Bill Gates monopoly on
technology as we know it (yes, I too love the i-phone and apple, but you must admit Gates has taken over the world–even the Chinese love him), but what we can afford makes 90% of the peope out there wish they were us and thus makes 95% of the people out there want to sleep with us.

Not yet...or maybe ever.

So, my children, go forth and blow money on a car worth more than a few years of undergrad or law school. What else were you going to do with that money? Give it to charity? Pshaw. Please.

What we can use our expensive car for when we get fired. Pizza delivery!